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WTFactual Occurrences #1

By, Wendiann Alfieri

The following is the first part in an attempted series I am starting that are retellings of actual things/conversations I have been through in my life

*In honor of my brother, whose going away to college in August, I figured I would tell this story, so that he may never forget those great ol high school memories*


(My brother and I are talking about bad conditions in certain school districts. I had seen a video online of a bunch of students videotaping the poor conditions of their school to get money to fix all the water damages and unsafe weak structures of pipes, walls, floors, you name it)

My Brother: “You think that's bad, our district is just as bad”

Me: “Well, it’s not like there are rats in your school, the video I saw the school was infested with them”

Him: “Oh, you mean like Gregory?”

Me: "Uh, what?”

Him: “Gregory. Gregory and his family. They live in the yellow cafeteria”

Me: “I-”

Him: “People feed them mozzarella sticks during lunch, they live in the vents”

Me: “I don’t believe that”

Him(with genuine concern): “Yeah, one time in class my teacher saw Gregory and just kinda nodded at him. Everyone helps out Gregory and his family”

(a few hours later, I and my mom are in her car picking up my sister, who graduated last year. I figured she might know about the rats-excuse me, I mean “Gregory and His Family”- and could tell me if my brother was telling the truth or just bullshitting me because I know our district is nuts. Still, I had a slight hope that it wasn’t true, not necessarily me being in disbelief, persay)

Me(to my sister): “Yeah, so our school district was crazy, but I didn’t realize how much, our brother said that there was a rat they named Gregory who lives in the vents with other rats”

Her, (confused): “Gregory? There was no Gregory”

Me, (sighing with relief, that this meant it wasn’t true)

Her: “His name was George, I think”

(I stop, figuring she’s joking as well until she gets specific)

Her: "They live in the yellow cafeteria, in the vents”

So, shoutout to Gregory/George and his family, I hope they aren’t struggling as much and aren’t squatting and at least get social security benefits or food stamps so they can get the better kinds of cheese to eat.

Like, Mozzarella is great and accessible (clearly), but ramen is cheap and accessible and no one WANTS to live off one thing like that. It's also not enough if you're raising a family of rats in a PUBLIC Highschool, where funds are cut so that the football field can exist

We all know how hard it’s been the past few years,

I hope they have escaped their living conditions and have moved to the vents in a private school, where the cheese sticks at least have a chance of not being expired.


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