Updated: Feb 20, 2021
By, Wendiann Alfieri
AUTHORS NOTE: THIS IS INTENDED TO BE FUNNY AND SYMBOLIC. NO OFFENSE IS MEANT
Hello and Welcome to station 202.1 to the show of the hour where you listeners come on the air and tell us about anything that has happened that is just bizarre! We have our assistants Jekyll, Hyde, Tyler, and Marla to research the stories our callers tell us, now without further ado, I am your host Jesus and this is Mary!! And this is NEWS FOR VIEWS! Let’s get to our first caller
Mary: Hello to you, our first caller! What is your name and where are you from?
Caller: My name is Petal and I live in the Field Of Desire
Mary: Hi Petal! What is your story?
Petal: All my family has died today, and it was tragic
Mary: I’m sorry to hear that, may I ask what happened.
Petal: They were picked. This child came into our field and started picking at my Rose and shredded all my brothers and sisters, and shredded Mother Thorn and Father Stem. It was right before the wind too, and this storm is really carrying me away
Mary: Oh dear I am so sorry for your loss-
Petal: No really there’s a tornado and it’s coming this wa-
( Petal’s voice is overshadowed by the sound of time ripping)
Jesus: No, no there’s really no way we are responsible Mary, don’t worry I’ll talk to dad about that and- wait are we still…We’ll Be Right Back Folks! Now please enjoy this music!
Song: It’s Raining Men by the Weather Girls
Jesus: Mary? Are we back? Oh hello listeners now for our next caller!
Caller: My name is Fame
Jesus: And where are you calling from, Fame?
Fame: The Bermuda Triangle
Jesus: Wow! So what is your story today?
Fame: Well, the meaning of my current job has been put into question, instead of achieved, these people gain me by just posting a funny joke on the “internet”. And do you KNOW what this is like? I was lost and now live in The Bermuda Triangle, everything disappears here, Morality is with me here, too and...
Jesus: Well uh, sorry Fame I can’t hear you too well…
Fame: What do you mean?
Jesus: Oh, you’re breaking up…
Jesus: Mom, we’re going to have to get dad involved…and oops, onto our next caller! Hello and what is your name and where are you from?
Caller: My name is Steve and I’m quite confused by this show, I mean, I just live in New York and it sounds like this is for…uh…not for people..
Jesus: You live in New York?
Steve: Yes and I am a HUMAN BEING…
Jesus: That’s ok, you live in New York so it doesn’t count. Now what story has brought you here?
Steve: Uh, my friend went missing a week ago and they still can’t find her...
Jesus: Wait a second; Marla has some information from our sources… You’re Steve Kin and your friend, Tabitha was not murdered. She isn’t your friend but your fiancée? And also, she faked her kidnapping, she’ll contact you a week from now after the police get involved and find her.
Steve: Wh-wh-what? How do you know this?
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Steve: What is that noise?
This Station is not available
(Steve gets annoyed and switches the channel)
Song: Never Gonna Give You Up By Rick Astley
Steve: Well, f**k.