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Struggle ( a really long poem)

Updated: Feb 20, 2021

Struggle

By, Wendiann Alfieri

As the wind whips my hair


As my feet try to stay grounded

It appears my anxiety is unfounded

My feet are buried even beneath this glass

To make sure I stay here

The pain doesn’t even feel bad

It’s better than flying around with debri In the wind

Trying to carry me

The farthest away

I dig my feet into the glass

Sweat runs down my back

Part of me wishes

The wind would give up

That the earth won’t make me sink

Either way I will bleed

So take me to my element

the water is so clear

Let me float there

Let me swim down deep

With a tail and folklore fantasy

I don’t like the garbage on the ground

Or the smell of sewage and the swirling plastic bags the wind carries

The fire in me wants to get even

I just want to be in a clear sea

swim down deep

Caution I must reap,

As I know the fishes is not where I want to sleep

I think of time as one moment

One Big Bang

And everything is a cycle

Everything bounces off each other

It’s like dominoes

No matter how you place them they all fall consecutively

they end up what they started as

A handful of tiles

It doesn’t matter the beauty in between, the thought you can make something so delicately just to knock it down

It started one way

A handful of tiles

No matter your creativity or ideas

It ends the same way

As a handful of tileS

It teaches and builds patience and strategy whether placing them upward to knock down or playing the game strategically

It started as a handful of tiles

it ends the same way

I am just starting to dream

Through this crazy world

I’ve done what I need to for the day

On my pillow my head soon lays

The morning roles on

The kids jump in the bed

“ Let us go outside, to our Childness we shall wed

Parting words and favors mom, what do you have to provide us with luck?”

Damn, sounds like something fun

I try to sit up

Exiting the sleep kingdom

I try but I can’t

My head keeps making me think I woke up and I get up in this dream that I think is real

Because of its very appeal

Everytime I get up

It snaps me back to me waking up

It goes on and on

“Waking up” full appetite

Starved once again

Just please brain,

Let me have my peace

I’m a writer you see

brain I am ready for combat

Before I even draw my pen

You make me go sleep again

An idea a start

One want to explore

Then again,

I wake up back in the dream loop

Please brain,

Make up your mind,

Am I up

Is there a reason for my tired eyes?

Let me journey with my words

A shield for me is my sword

I wake up eventually

After the repetition has to cease

Then I go to break the dam

Of waking up finally

My notebook ready

Wondering what fiction to make reality

Most importantly:

I’ve got a mind to feed

The hunger that wrestles and starves you even when doing its bidding

The cycle of curiosity

Fire flys from my hand

Heat building up

Writing without a plan

Candle flames are details

All I’ve got so far are the flames of ideas that rise high

They push on

They push on to get to the message

The fine print they are blind to

As well as me as the wind flows through

The flames go everywhere

Engulfing every independent thought

Into one long writing rush

The flames grow so much

I’ve lost the point in my words

Here comes the rain