LISTEN: A LADIES LESSON

By, Wendiann Alfieri

*this is an entertaining list enjoy

Girls, here’s some info for you:

1. Boobs HURT

2. Food does not go straight to your ass, however nice that would be

3. As life goes on, it’s hard to hold your pee in like you used to

4. Hormones will shake you but they won’t break you

5. Everyone will glance at your chest/ tits

6. The tighter a woman’s ponytail, the less bullshit she’s willing to take

7. Having a red flag controlling your life does not mean you should give up your will and automatically put up a white one

8. “Cramps” is a generalized term used to describe period pains, yet it does not, capture the accuracy of how painful they can be

9. Your Priorities vary with your mood

10. fine stands for: Fuck, I Need Energy

11. If you get cheated on, don’t start calling the other woman’s names and blame her It’s counterproductive you BOTH got fucked over band, together don’t pick each other apart

12. You won’t just crave sweets or have weird cravings just when on your period or pregnant. You always will have bizarre tastes you just got to hide it well like the rest of us

13. There’s Never a way to say for sure that you’ve had an orgasm in your life, and there probably never will be.

14. Your clothes closet will become Pandora’s box over time. Clothes closets are not for better organization, that's an excuse. your closet is really there for you to dump random shit in that you don’t know what to do with.

15. No bra will ever be able to give enough support AND be comfortable at the same time

16. Your back will always hurt

17. give others some credit where credit is due, even if you don’t like the person

18. Giving birth is the definition of a mind-fuck

19. God bless all the women who can walk in stilettos

20. Shaving is not required, you do you girl. but if you do shave: a)Be careful when shaving and b) Be careful where shaving

21. Waiting in the waiting room of your gynecologist can be more uncomfortable than the appointment itself

22. If you see something between someone’s teeth, or something stuck in their hair, tell them.

23. girls you can’t stand are usually just like you

24. Beauty is not synonymous with pain

25. The people who say cursing isn’t lady like can go fuck themselves, cause no one else will

26. When you see someone you are jealous of, turn it into giving them a compliment instead of sitting with envy. It’ll make you feel better, and spread the message of kindness and respect that women should have towards other women

27. Give some more Respect for strippers. Let the stigma lay and Say what you will, but Pole dancing is NOT easy.

28. The more women that live together leads to all of them having their periods at the same time cause… well, science and biology I guess. That means eventually, you and the other women you live with will feel like shit at the same time from Periods.Isn’t biology great?

29. You can never hide your emotions properly. A woman’s eyes will always betray her

30. Eating healthy and healthy eating are two different things

31. In rough times, when discouraged or feeling down about not having what you want in life, just watch any show on TLC and you’ll appreciate things in life more

32. Astrology signs are for entertainment purposes only they are not facts

33. women’s public restrooms are a lot more disgusting than men's public restrooms

34. A purse isn’t a suitcase

35. Wearing a bold colored lipstick means you will have a day long journey to keep it on your lips and off of your teeth

36. Boobs sag over time

37. 7/11 coffee tastes better and is more practical than Starbucks

38. don’t all jump up and down when you are excited. you have boobs, they will smack you in the face if you try to pull that shit. What can I say? Gravity is a bitch.

39. Us women all get cold way too easily. It’s our default complaint.

40. You can’t always change everything

41. You can’t always change everyone


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