GET TO KNOW WENDIANN: “WAFFLE FACTS“
By, Wendiann Alfieri
(these are all TRUE facts that are random and that you would find on a snapple cap kinda style. But these facts are about me, since i do not have any relation to snapple, or their facts, for all intensive purposes these are facts you’d find on a figurative box of Wendianns whimsical waffles)
*This is compiled with new content as well as all the previous “ Waffle Facts” content*
Here we go-
Wendiann doesn’t like the lion king
Wendiann likes the taste of drinking orange juice after brushing her teeth
Wendiann would do jigsaw puzzles with friends and hide a piece so she would be guaranteed to be the one to finish the puzzle
Wendiann thinks Pizza is incomplete if you don’t have olives on it
Wendiann knows Tacos are overrated
Wendiann sleepwalks/ talks in her sleep and will hog all the blankets.
Wendiann drinks milk from the gallon and forgets to tell others that when they want a drink from her fridge
Wendiann will share chips with people
Wendiann will NOT share cheese doodles. Once the cheese doodles are claimed by Wendiann, they stay hers
(However, Wendiann will grace you with the honor of throwing out the bag of cheese doodles)
Wendiann is competitive beyond comprehension
Wendiann is horrible to watch movies with, especially in theaters when she asks questions and makes comments out loud
Wendiann will laugh at things she thinks is funny, even if they aren’t actually funny or even meant to be funny
When Wendiann laughs, it sounds like she’s sobbing
When Wendiann sobs, it sounds like she’s laughing
Wendiann hates wearing shoes and wishes She could be barefoot all the time
The top most used word that Wendiann uses most is “What?”
The second most used word is “ Fuck”
Wendiann’s favorite word is arbitrary
Wendiann has no explanation for why her favorite word is “ arbitrary”
Halloween isn’t just a holiday for Wendiann, it’s a competition she will plan for all year round
If Wendiann is losing a game, She makes it a mission to bring others down with her and drive everyone crazy cause if she can’t win, no one can. And no one will
By the way, she just lost the game ;)
Chess is the only game Wendi has played that she does not get angry for losing at
CAUTION: Do not leave Wendiann alone with lucky charms She will eat the marshmallows and put the cereal right back in the box
Wendiann loves being in pools or going to beaches, despite not swimming well
If you offer Wendiann help carrying in something like groceries or a package, she will give you the heaviest thing to carry cause she is not physically strong at all and, hey, you offered
When Wendiann was young and learned how (to write capital “G”) She thought it looked like a “ C” carrying a pizza platter and would often draw letters as characters ( usually with the letters working or being in a restaurant) to remember how to write them properly
Wendiann is cold ALL THE TIME
Wendiann DOES sleep with the light on often, but is more afraid if she has plain undecorated walls in her room because it’s “ boring and eerie” that way
Everytime Wendiann has ever been to Hershey Park on vacation, something always went wrong
Hide and seek is the game from childhood Wendiann has-and will still take- the most seriously
Wendiann never finished the book “ The Lion, The witch, and the wardrobe” by C. S. Lewis despite having re read the first half over and over
Wendiann used to eat snow brought in from outside with maple syrup
( don’t knock it till you try it)
Wendiann doesn’t dip fries in ketchup, she dumps ketchup on the fries
Wendiann’s hope is to one day go to six flags/ the water park part of six flags
Wendiann hates birds because “anything that can shit on me from a great height is not something I’m going to be fond of”
Wendiann mostly hates geese, swans, and seagulls, but specifically hates geese. Geese are and always will be, The Enemy
Wendiann is cool with ducks, cause at least they are cute
When Wendiann gets a pet on her own, she wants a bunny and If they stink oh well. She will name em Edward, in reference to one of her childhood favorite books “ The Miraculous Journey Of Edward Tulane” By Kate DiCamillo
Wendiann strongly believes Luna Lovegood or Hermione should’ve ended up with Harry, NOT Ginny and Toy Story 4 should not be considered canon or even exist cause it’s just a cash grab and washes away the poignancy of the ending of the 3rd movie
Wendiann loves all kinds of music, but acknowledges the fact that AC/DC will ALWAYS be the shit
Wendiann can and will, fall asleep anywhere regardless of place or time
Wendiann can bend her fingers backwards so it looks like she doesn’t have any
Did you know that wendiann can burp and talk at the same time
Wendiann loves chapstick but when she was younger she would eat her lip smackers lip balm with no hesitation
Wendiann always curses around kids but never notices until someone else, for example, points out the five year old kid by her seat at a McDonald’s
Wendiann did 200 squats in a row once
If Wendi was a Disney character she would be the chicken/ rooster from “ Moana”
Wendi is horrible at riddles because she is impatient and hates things not making sense
Wendianns appendix ruptured right as surgery was beginning, if it wasn’t for already being in surgery for it she would have died
Wendi would have won a spelling bee as a kid but asked“Can you spell it?” Which is an invalid question,and the judges disqualified her
Wendiann loves pop up books
wendi thinks she’s good at cards but she sure does suck
Do not ever play cards with wendiann
Wendiann fell asleep one time in a partially open fridge she was hiding in
wendiann fell asleep on a staircase in the middle of an anime convention in the city
Wendi is terrified of gremlins
Wendi tried climbing a rock wall but fell when she was close to the top which was caught on video and posted on Facebook
Wendianns uncle one time used a construction machine to build her and her sister legit igloos with the snow from a snowstorm when Wendiann was young
Wendi closes her eyes when on rides because the drop from a roller coaster feels cooler that way
Wendi cannot open pickle jars
If wendi has kids she wants them to call her God until they are old enough to realize she isn’t God
Wendiann is a *Goddess*
The gremlin that scared wendi the most was gizmo and also fuck that movie how is no one else terrified of gremlins
Wendiann still sleeps with a teddy bear and baby blanket
Wendiann used to sleepwalk and sleep talk
Wendiann losing her marbles is nothing compared to when she loses her shit
Wendiann got stung by a bee on her foot once and kept walking cause she is stubborn as hell
Wendiann can think on her feet. She will think “ what do I do now” while standing on, of course, her feet
Wendiann looks older in childhood photos then she does now
If Wendi turns into a spirit she will still find a way to talk to people and, if she’s in a good mood, annoy the shit out of whatever poor bastard she chooses
Wendiann loves acronyms
Wendiann forgets things a lot
Wendianns favorite state you’d find on a coin design is Nebraska
Wendianns favorite time of day is at two o clock or three o clock on a Wednesday
Wendi over decorates her room with stickers that will probably never come off
Wendianns # 1 thing on her kick-the-bucket list is scuba diving
Wendianns favorite kind of chips is maple bacon kettle cooked chips
Wendiann is very good at alphabetizing
Ever since Wendi was little she loved books and now has so many books everywhere at home
Wendiann uses mnemonics to remember things
Did you know Wendiann absolutely hates the way Snapple’s iced teas taste?