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F**k you, I'm a cat

Updated: Feb 20, 2021

By, Wendiann Alfieri

The day opening to our warm sun

The sun smiles at everyone

You get up stretching

Your muscles ache

You twist and turn as more you wake

You roll over, a hand to put on your lovers head

To kiss them good morning

Before they leave for work


they are not in bed

You blink away the rest of your sleep

mood fuel starting to deplete

Oh yeah, they had to leave for work early


A crash from the kitchen snaps you out

Of the glorious moment you quickly forgot about

You rush to the kitchen in nothing at all

You don’t change

Your worried someone got hurt

You enter the kitchen, to see

All the plates were smashed by me

Those cookies you made

I ate

(By the way, they tasted great)

Then barfed onto the only non broken plate

Oh, yeah its not yours

It's one you borrowed from your mother in law

The one she was reluctant to give

You know to her how special it is

Return it you shall

Before you can wash it,

Time is needed for you to chow

There’s your breakfast

It’s like its organic

It came from the cookies my stomach has banished

You’ll be fine

That’s your breakfast

where is mine

You didn’t yet refill my bowl

Except for a whole hour ago

I may have eaten it all

Its a pre-breakfast snack

Got to have my energy

I’ve got havoc to attract

I stretch my back and jump from my window seat

You didn’t draw the curtains for the sun I wished to see

I may have destroyed them

You might wanna turn around

Your bare ass naked facing the window

I’m sorry but I must go

I have to scratch something up

That stupid cat tree you bought isn’t the same

when against the walls my nails scrape

Its noon now and your are at your computer

Hey! Can't you see me? I am running against your leg

This time it doesn’t mean a treat

I want to snuggle

You are clearly busy

This is the perfect time to lay on your lap

Curled up and warm and not going anywhere