F**k you, I'm a cat
Updated: Feb 20, 2021
By, Wendiann Alfieri
The day opening to our warm sun
The sun smiles at everyone
You get up stretching
Your muscles ache
You twist and turn as more you wake
You roll over, a hand to put on your lovers head
To kiss them good morning
Before they leave for work
Except
they are not in bed
You blink away the rest of your sleep
mood fuel starting to deplete
Oh yeah, they had to leave for work early
BANG
A crash from the kitchen snaps you out
Of the glorious moment you quickly forgot about
You rush to the kitchen in nothing at all
You don’t change
Your worried someone got hurt
You enter the kitchen, to see
All the plates were smashed by me
Those cookies you made
I ate
(By the way, they tasted great)
Then barfed onto the only non broken plate
Oh, yeah its not yours
It's one you borrowed from your mother in law
The one she was reluctant to give
You know to her how special it is
Return it you shall
Before you can wash it,
Time is needed for you to chow
There’s your breakfast
It’s like its organic
It came from the cookies my stomach has banished
You’ll be fine
That’s your breakfast
where is mine
You didn’t yet refill my bowl
Except for a whole hour ago
I may have eaten it all
Its a pre-breakfast snack
Got to have my energy
I’ve got havoc to attract
I stretch my back and jump from my window seat
You didn’t draw the curtains for the sun I wished to see
I may have destroyed them
You might wanna turn around
Your bare ass naked facing the window
I’m sorry but I must go
I have to scratch something up
That stupid cat tree you bought isn’t the same
when against the walls my nails scrape
Its noon now and your are at your computer
Hey! Can't you see me? I am running against your leg
This time it doesn’t mean a treat
I want to snuggle
You are clearly busy
This is the perfect time to lay on your lap
Curled up and warm and not going anywhere
I need to take a nap
HEY! How dare you push me away?
Don’t you want love?
You cuddle me
When I don’t want to be
Your keyboard looks nice
Maybe you’ll see m-
Oh damn
These keys? Ah, I can stretch my back
Oh these are fun
You are picking me up off the keys
Oh so NOW you pick me up? Now you want a hug?
Either way, I get attention
Which I love...
sometimes
It's around two, there is nothing to do
I am curled up near a wall
When I see a red dot on the wall
this thing is always around when I am NOT trying to annoy you
I can never catch it
You think it’s funny
Laughing and giggling
What if someone put $1000 dollars for you on the floor then moved it and each time
More money is added and you keep trying to catch it
THEN YOU DO
your hand it goes right through
You see it but feel nothing
It never existed
It’s not a being
It’s an illusion
I am not a kitten anymore, so don’t bullshit me like one
I will end you ‘fore the clock is done